The Single Girl Book Club Review: Thank You, More Please by Lily Womble
The moment I cracked open the pages of Thank You, More Please, I couldn't put it down. It was so refreshing to read a dating guide that wasn't centered around altering my authentic self in an effort to attract love. Lily's mix of humor and vulnerability validated my feelings of frustration with dating, and each chapter shared valuable information on how to navigate the current dating landscape.
My Biggest Takeaways
The Benefits of a Dating Detox
One of the first things Lily suggests is that we go through a dating detox, which includes detoxing people's advice, dating worry, and deleting our dating apps! Disconnecting from all the noise and embracing our solitude helps us reframe our thoughts around dating and highlights how society and patriarchal views have shaped our dating experience.
During my intentional single phase, I did my own version of dating detox and learned so much about myself. I learned the ways that I was contributing to a toxic relationship cycle and the childhood trauma that affected my trust in people. I learned how to better myself, began to focus on my self-growth, and wrote my first ebook, How to Maximize Your Single Season. A dating detox is the perfect time to pick up new hobbies that may pique your interest, spend quality time with friends and family, and take a solo trip.
The Brazen Bragging Effect
Now, as a Leo rising, this technique intrigued me, and when reading further about this concept, I couldn't help but fall in love with it. Lily coined the term Brazen Bragging, which is essentially when you brag about yourself and your accomplishments. Oftentimes, women in our society are only allowed to brag about getting married and having children, and sometimes, our other accolades, such as career and finances, may go unnoticed. When we brag about them, it can be considered distasteful or arrogant.
Lily suggests that when we start dating again, we do a bit of messy homework, which requires us to write down 20 things that we love about ourselves before each date. She states that this technique helps to add “breath and life to the right conversations and connections.” Those who are inspired by you and your accomplishments will be intrigued and congratulate you, while those who are intimated will try to one-up you or pull you down.
Establishing EBP's
Now, we all have a list of qualities we want in a potential partner, and EBPs (Essence-Based Preferences) help us dig deeper into why those qualities are so important to us. For each quality or characteristic, Lily advises us to uncover the reason they are important. Additionally, she talks about what happens when our EBPs become too rigid or too lax.
In our IG Live conversation, Lily gave us great advice on creating balanced EBPs and offered valuable tips on how to get started. Check out the conversation below.
This book was a wonderful read from beginning to end, and it offers actionable steps on how to create a more joyful dating experience. It was funny, heartfelt, and is a breath of fresh air. It's the perfect summer read to prepare you for the upcoming cuffing season and an even better read to educate you on how to break those dumb dating rules we have been fed by the patriarchy. If you are looking to have a new kind of dating experience and aren't sure where to get started, picking up the book is a great first step!
