3 Reasons Why You Should Be Dating Yourself!
Growing up my mother made it a habit to take herself out for solo dates and as a young child, I didn’t understand why she didn’t want to include my brother and me. I thought it was a bit strange that she preferred to dine alone, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to realize the importance of dating myself and all of the benefits that come with spending time in solitude.
Solo Dates are a beautiful way to get to know your true self.
The purpose of dating is to evaluate the suitability of another for a potential lifelong commitment. When you date yourself, you’re essentially evaluating whether you’re prepared to enter into a commitment with someone else. Spending this necessary time alone forces you to ask yourself honest questions and gives you space to reflect and practice self-awareness. Relationships shouldn’t be formed with the assumption that your partner will and can complete you. You must go into them as your own person, with your own goals, and life so that enmeshment and co-dependency don’t form. So enjoying your own company is crucial. There are many reasons why dating yourself is beneficial but I have narrowed it down to 3 reasons why I feel everyone should start doing it today!
Dating Yourself Builds Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem
Confidence is the feeling or consciousness of one’s power and comes from within. It’s your own belief in how good you are at something. In life, you will be able to continuously try, fail, and succeed at things that will build your confidence, and taking yourself out on solo dates is a great way to kick-start the creation of the foundation for it.
According to the popular YouTube channel “Charisma on Command,” there are two types of confidence: External and Internal. External confidence comes from how you project yourself with your style, body language, and how you physically respond to situations. Internal confidence comes from the acceptance that you will always be okay regardless of others’ opinions of you. When you learn to combine the two, interactions with others will become much easier and more enjoyable.
Self-esteem is based on how worthy you deem yourself. When you’re confident in who you are, your sense of self-worthiness and self-esteem increases. Solo dates not only allow you the space to learn who you are, and what you like and challenge you to get out of your comfort zone — they also allow your highest self to emerge and take root.
Dating Yourself Helps You Gain Independence
We all want to be that independent woman. However, not all of us are willing to do what’s necessary to earn the title. Being independent means that you must learn to do things on your own while knowing when to ask for and accept help when you need it. Having a sense of independence is a healthy trait to bring into a relationship — as it can be quite exhausting for your partner if they’re constantly having to do everything for you.
Dating Yourself Raises the Bar
Another glorious benefit of courting yourself is you'll no longer tolerate foolishness from others and you won't accept just the bare minimum. You'll learn how to properly handle and care for yourself and learn how to love yourself in your own love language. When you decide to introduce dating with others back into your life, you won't allow another person to treat you less than what you deserve because you'll be used to treating yourself with the amount of respect and dignity you once craved from others. Additionally, walking away from toxic relationships or situations will be easier because you'll no longer fear being alone and will begin to enjoy your own company.
“Don't allow yourself to be with someone who only gives you minimal effort, you're worth more than that!”
If you aren't sure where to start — I’ve listed some of my favorite ways that I find enjoyable and I implore you to give them a try.
Solo Picnics
I go on afternoon picnics quite frequently and have come to really enjoy spending time in nature. I’ll grab my favorite quilt, some of my favorite treats, a good book, my portable speaker, and some edibles. If I feel like writing, I’ll grab my laptop just in case I get inspired. As I bask in the warmth of the sun, I’ll start to watch the people around me, listen to soothing music, and just enjoy the day.
Take a Hike
If you’re looking for a way to get more active try taking yourself on a scenic hike. Please be smart about it and don’t mimic James Franco in 127 Hours, let someone know where you’re going and preferably do it during the day unless you’re in Phoenix during the summer. Hiking is yet another way you can spend some quality time in nature and according to PositivePsychology.com being outdoors can reduce stress by lowering cortisol levels. You can also become more mindful of your surroundings which will help you to stay in the present moment.
Dinner & a Movie
Give the classic dinner and a movie a try! With it still being a Pandemic and all, you'll have to stick with watching a movie at home for now but you can still get all fancied up and take yourself out to a nice restaurant with outside dining or make yourself a delicious meal at home. Enjoy a nice glass or bottle of wine (nobody’s judging you during a quarantine) and savor every bite. No self-loathing allowed, treating yourself every now and again is necessary.
I can’t stress enough how beneficial taking time to yourself can be and I hope you give these self-date ideas a try because spending quality time with yourself is never a waste. It’s important that you learn to enjoy your own company before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone else.
People will only love you at the same level that you love yourself and dating yourself will increase your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love and will help you raise the bar for when you decide to start dating others.
If you like these tips please share them with your single girlfriends and encourage them to start doing the same! Let's build each other up and inspire one another to build better relationships with ourselves.
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