Our March Woman Crush, Minaa B, Is Showing Us How We Can Heal in Community
Last year, I took myself to the Create & Cultivate Beauty and Wellness event. I had been challenging myself to go to more networking events alone so I could practice how to strike up conversations with strangers. I had the pleasure of meeting multiple women entrepreneurs, got introduced to new brands, and learned from the different panel discussions offered. Additionally, I had the opportunity to hear Minaa B speak about different mindfulness practices we could use to help us pave the way for our professional growth. She spoke about boundaries and the power of saying “no” and even mentioned how many of us struggle with the “Yes, Damn Effect.”
After her presentation, I jetted over to her book signing for “Owning Our Struggles," which I had pre-ordered the moment I read about it on her Substack. I was thrilled to have been able to connect with her and briefly mentioned our club! Shortly after our encounter, I announced her book as our new book club selection and wrote a review about how it impacted my life and taught me how self-care can contribute to community care.
This month, I am honored to have Minaa as our woman crush, and I know that her book and story will serve as a source of inspiration and motivation for the single ladies in our community.
Tell us About Yourself!
I’m a licensed social worker, mental health educator, and author of Owning Our Struggles. I’m first generation Panamanian and Colombian and proud of my cultural background and heritage. As a Black-Hispanic woman, it’s important to me to model for others who look like me that success can be achieved on our own terms. I find joy in healing through soca and reggae music, good food and being surrounded by loving and supporting people.
In "Owning Our Struggles," you share insights into your journey as a single person. Can you describe how your experiences have shaped your understanding of singlehood and healing?
I believe being single can impact us in many ways. It can be a time of self-attunement and self-reflection where you get to learn more about yourself, your needs, and your desires, but it can also be a time that is filled with grief if you are yearning for a partner. We are wired for relationships, so when you are not romantically tied to someone, it can feel like a form of ambiguous loss, which is what I share in chapter five of my book. I want to normalize that it’s okay to yearn for partnership, and it’s also okay if you want to be single. There is no right or wrong way to be.
How do you define "healing in community," and what role has community played in your personal journey?
Healing in community simply means learning to heal through relationships. Our relationships will expose parts of ourselves that need tending to. In my own personal journey, there are times when I thought I was healed from something, but then being in a relationship with others would show me that I still had more healing to do because I was recognizing my triggers that I couldn’t see on my own in isolation. Community is a beautiful thing, and when we have a supportive network, we can heal and thrive.
What are your hopes and aspirations for the future of single individuals in terms of finding healing, belonging, and fulfillment within their communities?
I want singles to find love and feel nurtured in all kinds of relationships and not just romantic ones. Partnership requires consent from another individual, so until you find someone who can give you what you are looking for romantically, it's important to find meaning in your life and in your platonic relationships. I encourage singles to go on dates with themselves, explore who they are, be curious about life and go on adventures, and do the things that make you feel happy and whole, don’t put your life on hold until you find someone. Do the things you want to do now while honoring that you desire partnership.
In what ways do you believe societal perceptions of singlehood impact individuals' abilities to heal and find fulfillment within their communities?
In a society that honors relationships and marriage, there can be a lot of negative stereotypes surrounding those who are single. Some of these negative messages cast blame on individuals as the reason for why they’re single, yet if they express sadness around their singleness, they’re also dismissed and greeted with comments such as ‘You have to love yourself before someone can love you, or, “If you can’t be happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.” A lot of these messages dismiss the duality of our emotions and that two things can be true at once; singles can be sad about the state of their relationships and love themselves at the same time. I encourage singles to remember that it’s okay to dismiss the negative messages that do not serve them and remember to be in community with people who understand your needs and provide you with support around them.
How do you maintain a sense of independence and self-discovery while also embracing the support and connections offered by community?
We should all be striving for interdependence, which is learning to balance independence and dependence. Having community is vital for our healing because we cannot do life alone, and there are going to be times when we need support. Entering adulthood also requires us to learn how to be self-reliant and recognize that there are certain needs we have that we will have to learn how to fulfill on our own. Embracing this truth will allow us to practice self-discovery not only with ourselves but also with others.
How do you address the stigma or pressure often associated with being single in a society that often prioritizes romantic relationships?
Remaining true to yourself and clinging to your beliefs and values will always be the thing that keeps you grounded. There are voices that will try to tell you whether you are good enough or not and will try to strip you down and make you feel inadequate if you are not romantically tied to someone, but I encourage you to mute those voices and live in your truth. Always honor your emotions, the good ones, and the bad ones, and surround yourself with people who are psychologically safe enough for you to be vulnerable around.
What impact do you hope your book will have on readers who may be struggling with their own single journey and seeking healing within community?
I hope that my book will offer readers guidance through life as they navigate different areas of struggle and learn to lean on the power of community care as a healing tool. I hope single readers will utilize the resources that I share in the book and that it helps them on their journey of finding true connection, whether it be platonic or romantic. We all deserve to exist in loving relationships, and I hope my book provides wisdom to those who are trying to heal.
