Want to Create a Joyful Dating Experience? We Sat Down with a Dating Coach to Find Out How
Dating can be daunting and quite overwhelming with all the different apps available today on the market—having to ask the same questions repeatedly, finding a cute fit, and getting all done up for someone who might waste our time. It’s exhausting, and many of us are feeling burnt out because of it. However, it can be fun if we learn how to strategize our dating experience and reframe our mindset around it.
We recently spoke with dating coach and Founder of Get Your Guy Coaching, Anwar White, about how we could have a more joyful dating experience. He shared some insightful information that will help us have fun meeting new people and relieve the pressure of trying to find the “one.” This blog post will discuss our top conversation highlights and what you need to do to make dating a joyful and fun experience.
— Watch the full discussion here —
Get in Touch with Your Inner Child
Find the little girl within that loved doing random cartwheels, playing MASH, and telling jokes. We need to cultivate that fun and playful energy and bring it into our dating life. Anwar talks about how many of us–particularly black and brown women– are always the responsible ones, and often we have the tendency to bring networking energy into our dating experience. However, tapping into our inner child can bring joy and excitement into our dating experience.
Talk Your Shit and Be Authentically Yourself
All of my Leo placements love this suggestion, and seeing that it’s currently Leo season, you should partake in this suggestion too! It’s okay to speak your mind about discussion topics, and it's okay to brag about yourself. Many of us try to be prim and proper when going on dates, but by not being authentically ourselves, we create a false sense of reality. Being your true authentic self will help you attract someone who cherishes you for who you are at the core and not the person you pretending to be.
Create a Dating Strategy
Creating a strategy while dating is vital if we want to see success. White states, “You would never do your professional job without a strategy—don’t let the apps work you; you’ve got to work the apps.” Dating is a numbers game, and if you would rather meet people in person, there is a lower percentage of people you will connect with—as opposed to using the apps. He shares 3 tips on how we can strategize our dating lives.
Don’t engage with individuals who don’t ask questions – He suggests that we stop conversations with individuals who aren’t engaging and asking us questions.
Get off the app after a couple of rounds of conversation – This shows whether or not they are serious about connecting with you. For those weary about sharing their personal number, White suggests getting a Google number.
Phone date or phone call before meeting someone physically – This will help you save time, energy, and makeup! Additionally, after the phone conversation, rate it from 0 -10. You should continue anything that you rate a 6 or above, and if you rate the conversation below a 6, LET IT GO! Additionally, he states that if they don’t call you on time, they're out, and if they don’t reach out to you 48 hours after a call, they’re out!
Rotationally Date
Rotational dating will protect your heart. You should be going on as many dates as possible to be able to compare and contrast with the individuals on your roster. White suggests that we participate in “Olympic dating” and have one gold, silver, and bronze medalist. This will help you gain more clarity about yourself and what you want in a relationship. Additionally, it won’t get you too tied up in one individual. Create a roster and have fun getting to know each person. For more information on rotational dating, check out our blog post, Why Rotational Dating Could be the Solution to Finding Your Perfect Match.
Handle Your Tiggers
Like many relationships and other experiences – dating can trigger you. However, it’s important that we recognize when we become triggered and figure out the root cause of it so that we don’t give up. In our conversation, White uses ghosting as an example. Ghosting may be a trigger to some of us because of some abandonment issues we might have. Getting to the root cause will help you better understand yourself and will help you heal that wound.
There were many gems shared in our conversation, and if you are interested in watching the full discussion— go directly to our IG page and view it here. White reminds us that “You have to do the choosing; you have to take the power in your own love life. You are the CEO of your love life.”
Remember that dating is a marathon, not a sprint. We must take breaks when we need to, and pacing ourselves is key. If you are beginning to feel burned out from dating, read our post about How to Combat Dating Fatigue. There, we share helpful tips on how you can overcome dating exhaustion and get back on track.
About Anwar White
Anwar White is the Founder of the Get Your Guy coaching program and host of the "Get Your Guy Coaching" podcast. He is a Certified Dating and Relationship Coach who has helped thousands of smart and successful women heal their hearts, date effectively, and get their guy! When he isn’t getting his clients dating like crazy and having a ton of fun while doing it, he is watching reality TV with his partner, teaching his three kids violin, and trying to keep his California body warm in Montreal. He believes that everyone deserves love and it is his mission to help provide that for his clients!
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