Holiday Survival Tips for the Single Woman
It's finally the Holiday season! My favorite and least favorite time of the year. It’s my favorite because of the lavish holiday parties, Thanksgiving clap-back memes, and extravagant fashion. It’s my least favorite because of the dreadful relationship questions that get asked at every holiday party.
As a single woman, the holiday season can be tough! We are constantly bombarded with commercials and advertisements of couples giving luxurious gifts to one another and we have to frequently process our triggered emotions when asked, when are we going to settle down? My favorite is when the aunties decide to tag team and collectively remind you that you aren’t getting any younger to have children.
I always seem to go into this time of year with my guard up — expecting to be asked these anxiety-inducing questions which makes me manifest these scenarios, but what if I looked at these situations differently? What if, instead of succumbing to the negativity that these experiences cause, I actively change my perspective, transmute that energy, and remind myself how grateful I am for this time that allows me to pour into myself even more.
I know that there is a possibility that I will run into the same situations that have left me feeling inadequate in the past but, I am determined to leave those situations even more confident with how my life journey is unfolding. I don’t expect to feel overly enthused overnight, but I am allowing myself to do the following things to help get me smoothly through this holiday season.
Set Solid Boundaries
Sometimes, family and acquaintances feel comfortable with saying whatever they want about your relationship status because there hasn’t been a boundary set in place regarding it. So placing boundaries about what topics you will discuss this holiday season is of high importance. Let them know that you don’t want to talk about your relationship status, and you aren’t interested in hearing their opinions on why you should rush certain life events. Remind them that you are focusing on this time to love yourself properly. And you're establishing the necessary boundaries that will prevent you from settling for a lackluster and unhealthy relationship that could statically end in divorce.
Get Yourself Something Nice
One thing I have been guilty of is holding off on purchasing items I’ve always wanted. Not this year! This year I am buying those earrings and those shoes that match my new Italian leather bag. I am no longer waiting to be gifted certain things by others because I have the means of getting them for myself now. I have worked hard for the money I’ve earned this year, and I’m allowing myself to give myself the things that I feel will make great additions to my jewelry box and closet.
Take Up New Traditions
This year, I celebrated Dia de Los Muertos. I have always been fond of the holiday, and during the pandemic, I had a strong urge to learn about my ancestors. To prepare for the celebration, I gathered images of the women that came before me, decorated an ofrenda, and spent hours on the phone with my paternal grandmother learning more about her upbringing. I asked her every question I could think of regarding her family and childhood.
I spent the day cooking an entire feast, watched COCO on Disney+ and journaled about how excited I was to adopt such a beautiful tradition into my life. In the end, I gained so much knowledge about my family's origin. It was such a beautiful moment getting to honor these women because I am so grateful for the sacrifices they made for me to have an easier life today.
I was apprehensive about starting a new tradition as a single woman. The less optimistic and cheerful side of me ridiculed me for how pathetic it seemed to begin a new tradition on my own. Self-doubt overwhelmed me and tried to convince me that this was something I was supposed to do with my own family. But in the end, I don't need a partner or family of my own to solidify my decision to adopt a new tradition.
Getting the chance to start a new tradition on my own helped me realize that I am in control of my own life, and I shouldn’t wait to do or start things I want because I’m not a part of a couple. If my partner doesn’t already celebrate, I can’t wait to get the opportunity to celebrate with them.
This time of year is the perfect time for us single women to cultivate an even more loving environment and share that love with the authentic relationships in our lives. We are no longer feeling sad about not scoring the perfect plus one during cuffing season, and we aren’t sulking about not having a New Year kiss. This season, I encourage you to be jolly about the good things you have in your life and to celebrate with your loved ones.
When we live our lives for ourselves and live in an endless state of gratitude, we attract the love we need, the love we desire, and the love we deserve. So whatever you choose to celebrate this holiday season, I hope you celebrate with people who value, cherish and inspire you.
Happy Holidays!
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