Meet Our February Woman Crush: Nikki “Kish” Brooks
This month we are amplifying the beautiful Nikki Brooks! Nikki and I met on Instagram (a common place I meet all of my woman crushes) and connected right away. On her platform she talks about the reality of relationships and offers sound advice for both men and women. She also has a fun and interactive relationship card game that provides deep and insightful questions when trying to get to know a potential partner. I am so grateful to have connected with her and I’m incredibly honored to feature her this month as our Woman Crush! I believe that her story/ journey has the potential to help other single women entrepreneurs out there!
Tell us About Yourself!
I’m Kish, formally known as Nikki! An entrepreneur trapped in the body of a 9-5er! By day I’m a Customer Experience Leader at a fine jewelry company, and after (or sometimes during lol), the CEO of Rated Relationships: a brand that encourages emotional intimacy, taps into sensual exploration, and embodies uninhibited fun! It's also home of my pride and joy, Rated R the Game, a 21+ drinking card game focused on love, intimacy, and relationships! I'm also an Ideation Coach, helping individuals take their business concept from idea to fruition. And let's go ahead and call me a self-proclaimed healer, bartender, bar hopper, and foodie!
What do you feel your singleness journey has taught you?
My singleness journey has taught me to look at relationships and human interaction through a different lens. As I work on healing my wounds, I notice that a lot of people are subconsciously carrying burdens and traumas and operating from their shadows. It’s almost like I see clearly. I took off the rose-colored glasses I wore throughout my relationships, and now I SEE! I have to give people grace but also understand that I do not have to stick around for their becoming, nor am I responsible for it.
What did your last relationship teach you?
It taught me how to love myself, how to differentiate between love and attachment, it taught me that I give too many chances and that I needed to use discernment and learn when to walk away, how to speak up for myself, to hold people accountable for their actions, and that words and actions have to align- there can’t be one without the other. It taught me that people will treat you how you let them. And most importantly, there can be peace after heartbreak- dark times don’t last forever.
What inspired you to begin your relationship coaching journey and what do you hope to accomplish as a relationship coach?
The nature of the current dating scene! It's a hot mess! We see and hear a myriad of podcasts that that’s either sexual in nature, or focused on gender wars, but not many are dissecting the underlying issue- the need to heal our traumas and how to actually do it!
I hope to help people heal through self-discovery. When we heal, we build better relationships with ourselves, our families, and our partners.
You’ve mentioned that you are currently on a celibate journey as well – Why did you decide to become celibate and what clarity are you hoping it brings?
I decided on celibacy when I realized I was having sex to please others, and doing it with people I didn't even like. I no longer wanted to have intercourse without the presence of connection- been there done that and it ran its course. I needed to focus on myself without the outside noise of stroking someone's ego. I'm not pleasing anyone who can't please me!
I’m not looking for it to bring me any clarity- sex has never kept me. I’m simply looking for a connection that’s all-encompassing.
How do you practice self-love?
Not doing things I don’t want to. Not going if I don't want to go, and not talking when I don’t want to talk. Burning candles and sitting in silence. Crying when I want to cry- happy tears for no reason and growing tears on the struggly days. Taking baths, sipping cocktails, and dancing while eating! Singing 90’s r&b at the top of my lungs with my remote. Embracing who I am through and through and enjoying my own company unapologetically.
What words of wisdom do you wish to share with other Single Women?
It’s easy to pass the blame, but the work only begins when you take accountability for your actions and the role you played in your heartbreak. Take the time out to work on yourself, to love up on yourself, and to find who you truly are underneath all of life's scars. Be patient, and you better not double back!
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