Our Woman Crush Aly Nycole Urges: It's Time to Delete Him, Sis
I remember when I first came across Aly’s platform. It was around the same time Threads had just been introduced, and her handle, Deletehimsis, caught my attention. What a clever name, I thought! Intrigued to learn more about her platform, I proceeded to read her posts and got a chuckle from some of the things she wrote. I soon found out that she had a Facebook group designed to help single women during their singleness journey, where she offered honest feedback to her audience. Seeing that our missions were perfectly aligned, I joined. Aly encourages the participants to do the necessary inner work needed to aid them in their healing journeys—while simultaneously helping them to remove the rose-colored glasses that we tend to wear during the dating phase.
She recently created a weekly newsletter that offers even more practical and spiritual guidance. I am so honored to amplify Aly and her platform this month as we recognize her as our Woman Crush!
Tell us about yourself!
I’m Aly, the founder of Delete Him Sis, a healing collective. The mission behind Delete Him, Sis, is to encourage and support women on their healing journeys back to themselves. My brand voice is akin to Olivia Pope meeting Carrie Bradshaw, Issa Dee, and Sophia Petrillo for brunch, followed by a cacao ceremony with a healing shaman.
Could you tell us about the 'Delete Him Sis Platform' and how it has transformed your personal healing journey?
Delete Him Sis started in 2020 when I met my "Twin Flame," who turned out to be my Karmic. What a delusional, difficult, and depressing time in my life. This was before he broke my heart and before I knew anything about shadow work, healing, and self-love. I think I was subconsciously prepping myself to heal from him before I even knew I needed to. It was my first time being in love. Most people get their lessons through multiple relationships. He was multiple lessons in one, and it nearly broke me... but still, I rise. I like to think of DHS as my personal shadow work project. My mission is to guide women out of woe-is-me energy so that they can thrive in their self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-love.
What have your past relationships taught you about yourself?
I might be doe-eyed and delusional, haha, but seriously, I was reflecting on this a few days ago. One thing I’ve learned about myself that I truly admire is my ability to be completely broken by someone and still meet someone new with a clean slate. I don’t hold what the old guy did against the next guy because I know they are completely different people. If I’ve truly done the work, I will be able to spot red flags more easily and get out of the situation—instead of being paranoid and assuming the worst of someone I'm just getting to know. I try my best to see the lessons in heartbreak. It makes the healing process easier that way.
How do you show yourself grace and compassion?
I allow myself to feel all of my emotions. If I see my ex at the gym with his muscles shining and glistening, I acknowledge the longing I may still have. Sure, he's an ex, but he's still fine, and there's no reason to lie to myself about it. I am always transparent with myself first. That’s my number one rule on my healing journey. This doesn’t mean I want to get back with him, but I'm not going to suppress those feelings if they arise. I acknowledge them, remind myself that he was one of my many life lessons, and then move on with my day. Ignoring your feelings only makes it harder for you to move forward.
What are some of your favorite tools and resources you refer to when you feel discouraged, heartbroken, or overwhelmed?
When I’m heartbroken, I crank up my "I can't sing, but I'm about to" playlist, which features Whitney, Mariah, Nao, and other greats—I'm singing and sniffling until my tears run dry. I always find solace in tarot, sound bowl healing, and my favorite movie, Head over Heels (For some odd reason, I made a romcom my heartbreak movie, lol). Sitting and connecting with myself is one of the best ways for me to cope. When I'm not feeling my best, I usually go for a run. There's something incredibly therapeutic about hitting the pavement and being outside with no limitations. This is when I do some of my best shadow work. I process and unpack a lot of my feelings during and after my runs.
What words of wisdom would you share with other single women?
Remember that you are more than your relationship status. Nurture yourself and learn the art of falling in love with you. I know that's easier said than done, and it’s annoying to hear, but it’s also a necessary step. There are other types of love beyond the romantic kind. Have you been neglecting your friendships? What about your connections with family? These relationships are just as real and important as romantic love and also deserve your attention. Nurturing these relationships will also allow you to develop a stable sense of self-love.
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