Me Company: Becoming the CEO of My Life

I have made many attempts at dating and relationships under my belt, including two divorces. Most of these are commonly described by people as failures. I disagree. I think I have become wildly successful at dating in the last five years since I got divorced, even though the five relationships I have tried during this time have only lasted an average of 3.2 months.

“My relationships could be considered failures only if we define success in our love lives by one metric and one metric alone: the presence of an actual relationship.

I no longer subscribe to the idea that a relationship ceasing to be or not existing at all is a failure. I think it’s time we recalibrate our definition of what being successful in relationships means. Maybe being successful is understanding when we need to choose ourselves. Maybe it’s understanding what serves us well and what doesn’t. 

I spent most of my life pretzeling myself into who I needed to be to gain, keep, or fix a relationship. The driving motivation was always two-fold: if this fell apart, it means I failed again, and that whatever unfulfilling relationship I was in was better than no relationship at all. This all changed when I shifted how I view how I live and applied a little bit of logic to counterbalance my overly emotional, soft-hearted self. 

When I think about all facets of my life, including my love life, I am running a corporation. The Me Company. I am the CEO of my life. I understand what my value statements are and align myself and my work with those. This includes creating what I consider a standard operating procedure for how my life runs. This allowed me to create and maintain a personal level of integrity I hadn’t before. 

The single biggest investment I will make in my life is not a home. It’s not my 401 (k). It’s the one I make in myself, and I have spent a significant amount of my precious time and energy doing things that do not serve my Me Company well. 

Companies understand that a major component to success is that just because someone wants to work with your company, it does not mean that you have to work with that client. Not everyone’s money and business are needed for my Me Company. Two years ago, I dated a man who was giving serious bare minimum. I dealt with it for longer than I should have until I realized I needed more. When he told me he just didn’t have it in him to give more, I walked away. Successful companies know when to fire a client when they realize it’s not working anymore.

So, it begs the question, if these actions are deemed courageous by men in boardrooms wearing business suits, why would it not be seen the same way when strong, single women make the same decisions related to their emotional wellbeing. Choosing oneself, honoring our own needs and desires, and recognizing whether other people can honor them as well is not a failure. It’s an overwhelming success.

What I love seeing is a trend toward women finding and creating their own happiness and understanding that adding a person to that is simply that—an addition. That person isn’t the joy of their life; they’re something that adds joy.

One of the core tenants of my Me Company is that I don’t do things that don’t bring me joy. Life is too short for that and it is too precious. I will not squander one more minute of my life on something that does not serve me well. I have no doubt that my Me Company will bring me joy for many more decades. After all, I am the CEO, and I make the decisions about my company. Perhaps a fantastic partner/investor wants to join me someday, and that would be lovely. But if that doesn’t happen, Me Company will always thrive. 

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Vanessa Torre

Vanessa Torre is an accomplished writer and editor, and the host of I Hadn’t Considered That, a podcast about navigating life and the world around us.

Vanessa has published nearly 500 personal essays on Medium about life and its many challenges, frustrations, and joys. She candidly writes about her experiences with dating, singlehood, gender expectations, beauty standards, middle age, career burnout, and other topics that connect us.

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