Meet Our August ‘21 Woman Crush: Marissa Swanson

This beautiful human and I met at our friend's Bachelorette party... ahhh what great memories! I remember thinking WOW she is absolutely beautiful and during a conversation with her I fell in love with her infectious personality. She is incredibly disciplined, educated, and determined, all the qualities I strive for in my own life! Although we live miles apart, it's always a joy to see her beautiful face pop up on my timeline and I wanted to celebrate her and highlight all of her achievements, because she is definitely making boss moves!!

Tell us a little bit about yourself

My name is Marissa Swanson, I am 31 and I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I am an architect that works full time for a firm in Midtown as well as I do freelance residential architecture on the side in my free time. I have been in three serious relationships throughout my adult life over the past 12 years and have been single for over 3 years now, the longest consecutive period ever for me.

What has your single life taught you?

My single life has taught me to remain independent in my lifestyle and interests and continue to pursue what I want professionally, personally, and financially. I have created a great livelihood throughout the last 3 years, being single and focusing on me and my goals. It continues to teach me gratitude for the relationships I’ve experienced and the love I can find elsewhere, not associated with an intimate relationship. I continue to remain financially independent and focused on professional goals without any desire to drastically change that path – there is some wiggle room in there for the right person.

What are some of the things that you want to accomplish during this season?

At the end of 2020, I had listened to a podcast episode with Kelley Knight, owner of the Modern Mystic Shop in Atlanta, and she described a 40-day detox from dating. She laid it out there that in those 40 days, you are to only interact with men in a platonic way, no flirting, dates, drunk make outs, etc. The 40 days is the minimum amount of time but when Kelley did the exercise, she practiced this for 365 days, meeting her now husband towards the end of the cycle. 

A critical part of this practice was a daily ritual she performed. She would light two candles, one representing her and one representing her future partner. She would write down one quality or desire she had for that future relationship, i.e. someone who could make her laugh. Then she would close her eyes and try to picture that person making her laugh, sit in that moment and then blow out the candle.

This exercise is something I began at the beginning of 2021 and completed the 40-day cycle before going on a date with anyone new. It really helped me set intentions for what I truly desired, focusing on things that mattered most to me like a true partner where we both contribute equally and hold each other in the utmost respect, wanting nothing but the best for each other as well as being supportive.

How do you deal with the frustrations during this season?

In the colder months and around the holidays the loneliness can creep in, so I must remind myself that I DO enjoy time alone. In those moments I reach out to close friends, or FaceTime my nephews, or even work on my freelance side hustle – all things that make me happy and not feel alone. When I am really stuck in a rut, I will either work out or eat an edible to relax and put something happy on tv.

How do you practice self love?

I prepare meals that are healthy and packed with nutrients, keeping a healthy diet and regular support for my metabolism is key to keeping my mind clear. This spring, I recently joined a MedSpa and with my new membership, I get monthly facials which bring me so much joy when they come around! I also enjoy at home beauty treatments like spray tans and giving myself gel manicures. I am also getting better at saying no to things that I know aren’t the best use of my time. I have learned to love Friday and Saturday nights in which result in easy weekend mornings, leading to the ultimate level of productivity.

How do you handle stress?

If I can stay focused during stress, I actively continue to tackle my list of to-do items – I’ve always worked well under pressure. If my brain is foggy, I will go exercise or cook something healthy. Generally, I can handle my stress well and when it comes on, I don’t try and fight it. I sort of pep talk myself through it but also know myself and will take a break if I truly need it.

What advice would you give single women ?

It’s cliché to say it but, we all struggle from time to time. As each day begins, no matter how good or bad it starts out, it doesn’t dictate the level of struggle that you may face in a day. Just know that you are not alone. Focus on things that REALLY make you happy that don’t necessarily involve having a partner to do. Try and “date” yourself by taking yourself out to a nice dinner alone – sitting at the bar is helpful! Leave your phone in your purse and either choose to people watch and sit in your own thoughts or strike up a conversation with someone also sitting at the bar. If you find yourself at a quiet table, bring a journal and take time to write out things you are grateful for or things about yourself that make you proud. Writing down what you like about yourself is the best way to feel more confident in your own skin and less focused on the fact that you’re single