Meet Our January Woman Crush: Julie Ofcharsky

Julie was one of the first people I met when I moved to Los Angeles. I remember making my way to the new cosmetic counter that I would be working at and there she was, all smiles introducing herself as my new counter manager and soon after our friendship quickly blossomed. Julie has always been someone I can depend on. She is such a great friend and has been during these difficulty times. Her advice is always something that I need in the moment and she is such a loving and passionate human. I am so excited to feature her and learn more about her journey as a newly single woman!

Tell us About Yourself!

I’m currently living in Los Angeles & working as an account executive and artist for a luxury cosmetics brand. I love that I have a job where I get to travel, meet new people, and most importantly make them feel beautiful. In my spare time I like to hang out with my 2 rescue chihuahuas, do yoga, read, cook for my friends, try new restaurants, and write/perform music. 

What do you feel your single season has taught you?

Being single has taught me the importance of pouring into myself. I’m a very generous person with those I love, but my tendency to care for others before I take care of me has often left me feeling depleted & resentful. I’ve learned that when I prioritize my needs first I have so much more to offer the people in my life. 

I’ve also become more mindful and intentional. I have a tendency to be an anxious person & I used my romantic relationships as a distraction in the past. I had no time to worry about my own issues because I was always worried about someone else’s! Being single after many years of being attached forced me to face my anxiety head on and now I am all about being present & living in the moment. 

What passions are you focused on during this season? 

I’ve always been a novice chef but I’ve definitely upped my game and have become truly passionate about cooking. I love being in the kitchen because you have to be very present (back to mindfulness) and it feels so rewarding to create something and watch others enjoy it. I’ve been working on baking because I suck at it and I’m REALLY into bread right now. I’m really into bread always, but right now I’m specifically into making (and eating) it.

What do you think is a common misconception about being Single and how are you changing the narrative?

There are so many misconceptions about being single, particularly directed at women. There is a tendency for people to look at single women, especially over 30, and think that they’ve failed in some way because of their lack of attachment to someone. This is typical patriarchal bullshit, but that’s a conversation for another day.

I really admire the single women in my life because the one thing they all have in common is that they have decided to bet on themselves. My single girlfriends are business owners, hustlers, climbing to the top of their career fields, women with vision. No one in my circle is particularly worried about finding a partner. If we happen to find someone special that supports us and adds joy to our life then great…but relationship or not we are going to live full beautiful lives. 

With that being said, I’m trying to change the narrative by focusing more on community than monogamous partnership. I think that the concept of the nuclear family has made many of us believe that the only way we’ll feel fulfilled is by getting married and having children. There’s nothing wrong with a traditional marriage & family dynamic, but what if we stopped seeing that as the ultimate goal and collectively decided that we can find the love we’re looking for right in front of us? My friends are my family. They love me, uplift me, and support me. Maybe if single women stopped focusing on what we’re lacking (a romantic partnership) we could see all the love surrounding us. Besides, there is dick in abundance, but true friendship? Now that’s special.

What are ways you combat loneliness in this season?

I’ve actually stopped trying to combat loneliness and I now lean into it, because if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years it’s that feeling discomfort is meant to teach us something. I really like to journal when I feel like shit because it always reveals things about myself that I wasn’t aware of. Loneliness can be a gift for personal growth. 

How do you practice Self love?

Self love is different for everyone but for me personally it’s all about tending to my spiritual, physical, & emotional health. I love meditating & journaling to get in touch with how I feel. I love yoga and going for walks in nature to tend to my physical body. I love cooking with real ingredients and nourishing myself with a good meal. Last but not least I know how to give myself an orgasm every attempt- something no man will ever accomplish.

What words of wisdom do you wish to share with other Single Women?

I think the main thing I’d like to tell women everywhere is to stop trying to impress men. Most women I know are cooler, hotter, smarter, and funnier than the men they date. We are the prize. I can not stress this enough. Focus on yourself. I used to hear those words but they never really resonated with me until recently. Being alone is a gift that we take for granted. You can literally do whatever the fuck you want, what’s more empowering than that?