Meet Our June Woman Crush: Chantelle Dyson
This month we are featuring dating and life coach Chantelle Dyson. I was first introduced to her platform through IG and noticed that she had a similar group for singles in the United Kingdom called The Single Girls Club. She would create fun outings for singles in her area which created a solid community of women and her podcast gives listeners the 411 on how to navigate their single lives. As I began to learn more about her and her mission I felt inspired to continue the work that I am doing with Single Girl Club. I am so honored to have her as our Woman Crush this month and I feel that her journey will help impact so many single women for the better and inspire them to continue on their healing and self growth journey’s.
Tell us About Yourself
I’m a Love + Life coach for singles, helping single women to get their confidence in themselves before getting back to dating! Following my own divorce in 2019, I went through a personal development journey that has seen me heal my past wounds and design and create a life I love, without feeling the need to be in a relationship. Now, I work flexibly with coaching, social media management and supply teach (ex-Maths teacher right here!), as well as hosting the weekly podcast, The Single Girl’s Guide to Life which has been running for the last two years.
What did your single season teach you and did it alter your view on relationships?
The greatest teaching I experienced was that love was much more vast than the love we glorify in society. Romantic love is put on a pedestal when there are other forms of love out there that provide us with just the same; acceptance, security and belonging. I also found myself questioning what love looks like. Marriage for me is no longer a key signifier of love – it comes from the small, daily actions WAY more than standing at the top of the alter saying “I do” and wearing a ring thereafter. That means NOTHING without the daily actions to go with it.
What inspired you to start your coaching business for single women?
Following the end of my marriage, I was single for the first time as an adult having been with my ex since I was 19. It’s amazing how quick people funnel you back into the dating stream and imply that you should be getting back into a relationship as soon as possible. Whilst being single as an adult as disconcerting at first, and I experienced loneliness, I was sure that the way to overcome loneliness wasn’t in getting into a relationship – and it isn’t. And it was that message that motivated me to start my coaching business; I wanted to coach women to get confident in their single life so that they didn’t feel like they HAD to get into a relationship. Now, I also help women to get back to dating with confidence after being burnt too many times in love.
Has your coaching business made an impact on your life, if so how?
It’s enabled me to meet so many great single women, and every conversation I have is intended to help them but it inevitably makes me clarify or question my own thoughts and opinions on life and love. It also means I get to do a job I love to the point that it really doesn’t feel like work. If you looked at some of the times and hours I work, some could say “workaholic” but when it genuinely feels more like fun and challenge over “working” it’s a whole different ball game.
You coach women on how to successfully date – What is some advice you’d give to those entering back into the dating scene?
The biggest piece of advice to take with you is to remember that just because you’re looking for a relationship doesn’t mean that everyone else is. I often see people making that assumption on dating apps when they’re used for a number of reasons. Being transparent about what you want from the start is often the best way to get rid of the people that don’t want the same thing as you – don’t be vague, be crystal clear.
How do you overcome the feeling of loneliness?
Overcoming loneliness is all about connection. It’s the basis to my Single Life Confidence programme where we look at connecting back to yourself and back to others in a deep and meaningful way. That means being authentically you, determining what matters most to you in life and nurturing your relationships in a deep and meaningful way that goes beyond the superficial. So, in times on loneliness, connect to yourself through journaling or meditation to dig a little deeper into yourself, or reach out to talk to someone and share how you feel. That might feel scary but it’s this vulnerability that takes your friendship to another level.
How do you practice self-love and take time for yourself?
My form of self-love is based on my core values: Connection, Creativity, Autonomy, and Growth. I look to support each of those as the days and weeks go by, spending 1:1 time with loved ones, losing myself in ideas and making content, having a day without plans to be free to do whatever I want at the drop of a hat, and sitting down to read a non-fiction book or listen to a podcast each enable those core values and fill my bucket back up.
What words of wisdom do you wish to share with other Single Women?
The sooner you start enjoying your single life, the sooner you’ll question why you were so desperate to get into a relationship. Your life can be full of love, joy and experiences by being alone and the solitude offers you the chance to discover the most authentic version of yourself, which in turn allows you to have the most genuine connections with the people that surround you. No one can guarantee that you won’t be single forever – though the chances of that are low if you’re ready to do the work. But the sweet spot comes when you can live with being single forever and being happy to accept the deck of cards you’ve been dealt and aren’t prepared to let it stop you getting the most out of your life. The key to single life is celebrating it together and embracing the opportunity that comes with doing what you want, when you want without having to answer to anyone at all!
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