Meet Our June Woman Crush: Karina DesRoses
Karina and I met while working at a local black owned coffee shop, Bloom & Plume. I was an obsessed regular before applying for a job and when hired, Karina helped train me on some of the barista basics. We bonded over our passion for herbalism and she shared with me some of the cool things she wants to do with it. This month we are highlighting her and learning more about her creative outlet, The Petty Herbalist.
Tell us About Yourself!
I’m Karina, aka The Petty Herbalist! I’m a 30 year old woman who is in love with the way plants ally with and heal humans. Herbalism is a practice I take on and learn everyday, and as for other work, I lead social media strategy at a lovely queer, Black women owned business called b|e collective!
What do you feel your single season is teaching you?
Singleness isn’t a season for me. Singleness has been a journey I’ve been on for a long time, and I don’t see being in a committed relationship as an end goal. Understanding my beauty, my wholeness, and my needs is essential for me to be able to love myself. Me loving myself really well helps me make space to love others. Relationships come when they come, and I always hope that I can just love the person as best as I can.
What do you think is a common misconception about being Single and how are you changing the narrative?
Romantic relationships are not the end goal, or something you’re missing out on if you are single. Non-romantic relationships/friendships of all kinds are important, and can also provide intimacy. It IS possible to feel cared for and loved deeply, even by your best friend… and I try to model that by my relationship with my best friend, Asia. She is my wifey for lifey and our bond has maintained its strength and depth throughout the years and ups and downs of our separate various romantic relationships.
What passions are you focused on during this season?
Obviously, I have a passion for plants and herbal medicine. I am also focusing on whatever artistic expression comes to me, whenever it comes up. For so long, I had to focus my energy mainly on the work that pays me, but this time around… It’s ME season! Y’all are going to receive whatever art comes to my spirit, and I have no expectations or anticipated outcomes of how it will turn out.
What are ways you combat loneliness in this season?
It’s really easy to take on that singles are lonely because they’re single, because of the societal expectations placed on us/what’s seen on TV, movies, social media, and societal pressure. see on social media. It’s like we’re not actually lonely, we just think we NEED a partner to complete us. Other times, we can actually be lonely and have no one to witness our lives because of whatever we are going through. In those times, I reach out to people who mean the world to me, and have a 4 hour convo on FT. If not that, I’ll look for a community of people who are doing something I like or want to do, and join in… like a meetup group or a club. I’ve always made friendships in that way!
How do you respond to negativity from others about your marital status?
These days, I only really receive negativity regarding my single status from old school family members, who don’t want me to “die alone”. I understand that in their days, marriage meant stability and secure resources, so I don’t want to fault them for looking out for my future. So, in response to them, I gracefully say, “no, I don’t have a partner” and sit and listen.
How do you practice Self love?
I’ve began taking the time to listen and do what my body needs. I no longer allow shame or guilt shape my decisions. Being in daily meditation allows me to slow down and feel the parts of my body that often get neglected. I’m learning that my body really enjoys being in motion and being stretched… so I have a regular yoga practice and I have a monthly massage.
What words of wisdom do you wish to share with other Single Women?
Focus on loving yourself, and from that abundance you can love others deeply. Remember that the way you are in one relationship can be how you will be in another relationship. Before your partner comes along, be a good friend, a good sister, a good coworker. The skills you learn there will help you treat a partner with even more compassion. Stay present and always approach new relationships with curiosity and not expectations. The best gifts in life are often unexpected.
